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Top 6 Must-Have Items For Storming Area 51

July 22, 2019

Written by Intern Ben Skinner 
Area 51
Over one million people have committed onFacebookto Storming Area 51 in Amargosa Valley, Nevada on September 20th, 2019. The reason behind the movement is to get to the bottom of all of the alien rumors circulating the media and to, quote, “see them, aliens”. If people ever intend to actually storming Area 51 and hope for it to be a successful endeavor, then they will need to be adequately prepared. Luckily for everyone, we have so graciously put together a list of the top essentials you must bring in order to successfully breach Area 51.
  1. ISlides

It is absolutely crucial to have the correct footwear for this multifaceted mission. ISlides will allow your feet to breath and soak up the sun in the hot deserts of Nevada -- while at the same time providing maximum grip as you are scaling rocks and leaping past heavily-armed guards.

  1. Camera

This high-risk mission will all be for nothing if you do not document everything you see as you are sleuthing around the base in your ISlides! The world needs to get to the bottom of these outlandish claims and rumors of alien sightings.

  1. Gas Mask

Your ISlides will keep your feet safe but unfortunately, they will not protect your lungs. The government will be forced to aggressively try to remove you and the other million trespassers off the premises. What a bunch of fun suckers, am I right? Inevitably, they will try to use tear gas to force everyone to flee. But since you are a smart cookie, you will have your very own gas mask to ward of this threat.

  1. Sun Screen

Stay woke! Sun rays are harmful and you will be in the middle of a desert. Don’t forget to cover the tops of your feet. Nobody wants to see your slide-burn.

  1. Radio Transmitter and Alien Translator

Once you make it to the forbidden motherland of all things aliens and conspiracy theories, you will need to use a radio transmitter (using the correct frequency that the government has already discovered) to contact our friendly space friends. Once you get a strong signal make sure to use your translator to let them know how dope ISlides are!

  1. Full Alien Costume
After successfully contacting the aliens, make sure to dress up in your costume to show that you are one of them and to be granted passage on their UFO. Once onboard, present them with their own fully-customized pair of ISlides. This will ensure that they will be your friends and that they will not proceed to consume you for dinner. 
Alien Slides

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